Managing Conflict with Positive Results
The ideal way to have positive benefits is not to have conflicts but we all know that conflicts will occur, we do not always have control of whether we have them or not but we can try to understand the nature of conflicts so that we are not overwhelmed when they occur.
First have a personal theme or team theme. One that I like comes from Romans 13:14:
But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
Next we must understand that there will be conflicts. Having conflicts is not necessarily a problem. The problem is when there are no common objectives. By definition conflicts means disagreements and disagreements are normal so to get positive results we need to manage conflicts with our PURPOSE.
In order to understand purpose better, lets take a quick look at the One who died for His Purpose. God’s purpose for mankind, which took Him to the Cross, was so that man:
? Could have a personal relationship with Him
? Man could become a steward under the Headship of God
? Man could conform to His Image
? Man could be reconciled to Him
? Man could become a witness of Him
? Man could reflect His Glory
So everything that was required to accomplish His purpose had its ownership in His Purpose. In order to manage conflicts with positive results, we need to make sure our purpose is clearly presented and understood. This means the “why”, “how” and “when” is part of the stated objectives.
The REASON for conflict must be carefully examined. Some conflict maybe necessary but it should not be due to egos, power movements, or arrogance. In other words the single most important element in managing conflict must revolve around purpose or goals. So here again we get back to the communication issue. If communication has been presented and understood we must look at the other person(s) in the conflict. Is there a lack of respect for authority (whether it be of God or of the world)? I am making the distinction here only because some people will say that they respect authority from God but not from that “person.” Romans 13 and 1 Peter 2:13 tells us that we should submit ourselves to the authority above us, whoever is in charge is there by the permission of God and the other person must be made to understand this. We cannot pick and choose who is over us. If our conflict is with someone who has respect for authority but is not accountable then they are not responsible either. (You can explain the parable of the talents here.)
If disrespect for authority and a lack of accountability are the reasons for the conflict then a reassignment is due as quickly as possible without dehumanizing the other person. Sometimes they will be relieved as a result of the reassignment and sometimes not. Just remember how they are treated is more important than the treatment itself. So if you are going to reassign that person make sure all communication with him/her is private and explain why the change is necessary. The following statement is worth repeating:
Please remember: How people feel they are treated will be more important than the treatment itself.
Romans 13:7,8 reads as follows: “ Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour. Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
The way we can accomplish this type of love in the subject of conflict is to do the following:
1 Peter 2:17 reads “ Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
Relative to the subject of conflict management, this verse teaches us to use preventive maintenance for conflicts. In other words, God is no respecter of persons and we should not be either. We can have smooth talkers or people with a lot of credentials convince us that they are the right person at the right time for the right job and this may not be true. We should break our purpose down to its lowest common denominator and examine what is required for each element and make assignments based on what is needed for each task and who can fufill each task. Sometimes a “bullhead” may be necessary for an element and sometimes a “softhead” may be necessary and together they may make a good team.
Conflict should be considered from its source (usually satanic) so repentant people are very important.
The purpose/objective/goal should not only be communicated to the team members but should be expanded to the church body in general with periodic updates. Special Note: the source of information can be more important than the information.
Stewardship was mentioned earlier as part of God’s purpose for mankind, so lets take a brief look at it here. First understand that stewardship should be taught at the very beginning, immediately after salvation but if it is missed there we should grab the opportunity to teach it at our earliest opportunity.
As stewards we must integrate the four biblical principles:
God owns it all
We are in the growth process
Amount is not important, utilization is
Faith requires action
We must recognize that:
¨ All of us have limited resources
¨ There are always more uses of money available than money available
¨ A dollar spent today is gone – and can never be used in the future for anything else. In other words, today’s decisions determine tomorrow’s consequences.
¨ The longer the term of perspective, the better decision making.
There are four vital reasons for goals:
¨ Goals provide direction and purpose
¨ Goals help to focus on thinking
¨ Goals provide personal motivation
¨ Goals become a statement of God’s Will for our lives
At this point you must be asking what can I do to manage conflicts with positive results?
Naturally we must have a clear goal, then:
1. Make sure that all communications are clear and understood
2. Understand that having a conflict may not be all bad.
3. Do it small at first so that understanding will have a chance. God’s death on the Cross has given His Church the ability to understand as we have seen His Plan unfold from the Garden of Eden to the present day. There are still those today that do not understand His Church but that is a “heart problem” and not a lack of information.
4. Make sure stewardship is taught
5. Pray about it and pray for it remembering that it is God that gives the increase.
6. Have all involved study the team theme, in this case, Romans 13:14: But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.