The role of the husband

GOD IS PERFECT. 

Therefore, His works are perfect.  Since God invented marriage for imperfect people, He had to make rules for its success.

 God set forth rules both before and after man sinned.  God’s mandate for the first marriage in the Garden: do not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, i.e. do not sin.  That rule still applies to all marriages.  The more we sin after marriage, the more difficulty we will have in marriage.

  Commands to the husband

When we ignore these rules, marriage is a failure. There is no such thing as a neutral marriage; it either succeeds or fails.

  There are divine rules today for each spouse in marriage:

 First Corinthians 7:3, “Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  Each has a duty to the other.

Marriage is more than finding the right person; it is being the right person.

To be the right person the husband must be cognizant of the divine rules of marriage.

  The husband has the ultimate responsibility to teach respect for the womanhood to his children especially his son(s).

The husband is to recognize the three Grace gifts from Jesus Christ:

The husband has to realize that the Cross is God's greatest demonstration of grace and the woman is God's walking illustration of grace. 

The motivation of impersonal love as the integrity principle for personal love is found in Ephesians 5.25,

  “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself on behalf of her.

  The present active imperative of the Greek verb “agapao” means to love from your virtue, or virtue love.  This principle is true as long as marriage exists on the earth.  Husbands produce the action by impersonal love as the integrity principle for personal love in marriage.

  It is impersonal love that gives strength, honor, integrity, and capacity to personal love.  Many relationships do not work out right because of a naked personal love with no impersonal love protecting it. Virtue love is the first divine rule of

God designed marriage.  God is Perfect.  Therefore, anything He designs is perfect.  The design is perfect for imperfect persons.  God has provided in His grace and wisdom for our imperfections and failures in marriage.  God also warns about the things that cause marriage not to succeed.

Personal love is conditional.

Impersonal love is unconditional.

  Any time you have a conditional situation, you rule out virtue.  Personal love depends on the attractiveness of the object; impersonal love depends on the virtue of the subject.

 Active virtue is the function of impersonal love toward all.

Active virtue in Scripture:

     Ephesians 5.25, “Husbands, love your wives (impersonal love) just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself as a substitute for her.  Active virtue by husbands is impersonal love.

    Colossians 3.19, “Husbands, love your wives (personal love) and so not be bitter against them.  Active virtue by husbands is personal love.

      Marriage is not designed for the husband to be a bully or to suppress the woman’s volition, but promotes it and directs it toward the woman in response to his love.  Anything a man does to destroy or limit the volition of a woman is disastrous.  The greater the sphere of the woman’s free will, the greater can be her motivation and capacity to love the man.

     In active virtue, the man’s volition has two directions in marriage.

                                                      Impersonal love for all mankind, which produces capacity for personal love.

                                                      Personal love for his wife.

       The weak man in marriage.

a.      The weak man acts on someone else.  The weak man enters into premarital sex, which destroys his standards and locks him into the attraction stage.

                                                                                                   i.      Premarital sex is the guarantee that you never have a happy relationship in marriage apart from regeneration and spiritual growth.  The same is true of the woman.  Once she engages in premarital sex with multiple partners, she will never be able to respond successfully to one man.

                                                                                                ii.      God designed sex for recreation in marriage not just procreation.  There is no meaning to bring children into the world unless there is a system of rapport established in sex, in which the woman is completely and totally satisfied.  The man must understand everything necessary to satisfy a woman.

b.     The weak man enters into active arrogance and pursues the woman until she has no privacy and cannot stand him.  Male active arrogance pesters the woman because of wounded arrogance and she reacts and rejects him.

c.     The weak man bullies his wife, stifles her volition, and abuses his God given authority in marriage.  God gives authority to the man.  He also bullies his children and cause abnormal fear and resentment in them.

d.     The weak man is unfaithful in attraction and in marriage.

e.      The weak man in passive arrogance depends on flattery, praise, and approbation from women.  But God ordained marriage so that the woman would look up to the man.  When the woman cuts off the flattery, the man in passive arrogance is despondent and deflated.

f.       The weak man has no grace orientation in his life.  The weak man feels threatened by doctrine and reacts to it.

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